I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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