i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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