Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
