Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize