I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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