do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
