Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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