8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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