new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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