Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?

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(940): View more from Texas

I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.

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(305): View more from Florida

and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him

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(256): View more from Alabama

No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL

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(785): View more from Kansas

Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"

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(609): View more from New Jersey

The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"

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