Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
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