Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
