can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Your penis caused this!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
