I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
did you just send me my own nude
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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