is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
