Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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