dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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