thus making me awesome and them whores
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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