The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
