I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
