i don't like sucking hair
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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