She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
