I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
