we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
