It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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