I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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