i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
