we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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