Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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