I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
