did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
