dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it's like iHOP with fire
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
