: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My sheets look like a crime scene.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
