i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
