guys are not supposed to queef...right?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
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From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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