im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
