problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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