He is an equal opportunity slut.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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