We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
