Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
