you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
