he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
