I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
