He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
