He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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