i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
