I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
