Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
