He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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