i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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