please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
