We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Randomize
