New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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