he puts the penis in happiness.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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