just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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