I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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