I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
