If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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