we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
