Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
