You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
