I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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